Short Break

Goodbye, Puerto Rico

 

 

I’m moving to Georgia on Tuesday and I have lots of stuff to do, so I’ll be on a short break till July 22nd while I finish last minute touches here and get situated over there.

Today I had planned a post about What Avatar The Last Airbender/Legend of Korra Taught Me about  storytelling, but it was long and messy and I want to do it right, but ran out of time.

So instead I share you other blogs and articles that are awesome!

 

This article shows how its actually true that being in the moment and enjoying the journey is much beneficial than focusing on the destination:  How Goals and Good Intentions Can Hold Us Back

Everything at Terribleminds.com is just pure awesomeness and today it’s interview day with Lisa Cron, author for Wired For Story which teaches storytelling using science! Lisa Cron: The Terribleminds Interview

Also, everything at The Art of Non-Conformity is great too. Here’s a blog post about taking responsibility for making decisions about your life. This blog and his books started me on my path of really taking my life into my own hands: How to Make Decisions

 

There. Go. Read. Play.

See you next week!

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Fixing Mistakes

 

I read a lot about how we need to learn to say No, especially in the form of advice for writers. Not so much to writing job opportunities (especially in the beginning), but more to family and friends and commitments that don’t benefit us and cut into our writing time.

We need to say No to others and Yes to ourselves more often.

I believe this is great advice, especially for women.

It’s almost like it’s more okay for men to be selfish jerks than it is for women, mostly because girls often find that attractive. I don’t know why. It must be some sort of defect in our reproductive hormones.

But for a woman, it’s important to be self sacrificing, selfless, kind, and polite. And once a man is married and has children, then he is also expected to be self sacrificing, selfless, kind and polite. A selfish deadbeat dad is NOT attractive in the least.

The problem is, we take it too far. Soon, a lot of women and married men don’t say Yes to their own needs at all. It’s all for others, their families and friends and the company they work for, even if it costs them personally.

While I understand some sacrifices are necessary, usually there’s a balance. Sacrifice this, and you enjoy the happiness of your family and satisfaction of a doing a good, fulfilling job at work.

But what I’m talking about are situations that hurt you and your involvement isn’t absolutely necessary to begin with. Or rather, it’s not your problem.

Like when you know that giving that loan to a friend that you care about, but know in the past that he’s bad paying back money, is a bad idea and you give him money anyways. Or when you really need time for yourself without your spouse and children, but feel guilty so you stay at home. Or the girlfriend who’s dream job is in another city, but turns it down so she doesn’t lose her boyfriend.

Some sacrifices are damaging to the soul.

We shouldn’t have to give in to the pressure of always being the polite one, the kind one, the generous one.

Or rather be those things, be kind and generous, but not at the expense of being mean and cheap with yourself.

Treat others as you would treat yourself, and likewise, treat yourself as you would treat others.

But there’s something even more difficult than saying No, which is the true topic of this post.

Saying No when it’s beneficial to yourself (but denies another what they want) is one thing and can be challenging.

What’s even harder is going back and fixing the mistake.

Of saying, “I’m sorry I agreed to do this, but I can’t. It was a mistake and I need to take it back.”

That’s much scarier.

I know cause I’m faced with that situation right now.

A part of me just wants to live with my consequences and just suffer and let it go. But I know that is just me willingly and unnecessarily creating suffering for myself when I can just solve it by confronting the issue.

Rather than worry and experience pain in the future for my mistake, I can take action and resolve it now…even if it might piss someone off, someone I really don’t want to piss off.

I keep thinking, “If only I had been stronger back then and said No.”

I can be stronger NOW and take back my Yes, despite how scary it is.

I have a responsibility to my own well-being to listen to my gut when it tells me (painfully clear for once) I’m doing something wrong and need to make it right.

This goes for everyone else out there faced with this scenario. In the end, it’s probably better for both parties. They become more self reliant and you become stronger and healthier too. It’s the first step in learning from mistakes and not repeating them.

I’m off to fix my mistake and become a stronger person.

How about you?

Anyone else done anything they regret in the past week? Is there any way you can fix it?

One More Reminder

 

As I grew up, a big problem I faced (though didn’t realize till much later) was that almost all my goals weren’t mine. They were my mother’s. I just wanted to do whatever she wanted me to do. True, I had hobbies, but I didn’t even consider them as a career option till my mother mentioned it, and even then I still ended up enlisted in the Air Force.

But still, I was lucky.

I always knew I wanted to tell stories and more specifically, make or write movies. I loved them and wanted to be part of that world, even if I ignored and neglected that desire.

For others, it’s not that easy. I had friends who had no clue what they wanted to do or be. Even my brother still doesn’t know what he wants to do for a living and has little to no hobbies.

It has become a challenge for some people to discern what their true personal desires are and what their family or society desire for them.

When choosing a goal to accomplish, a new life to create, it’s always better to listen to the gut rather than the brain.

How does it make you feel rather than what is the more logical choice. Because even if a choice may give you money and safety and security, it won’t matter if you’re not happy and worried that you will lose said money and safety and security, or if you even don’t want it anymore because you’re so miserable with the way things are.

Balance is always the aim, but if I had choose between being rich, unhappy and frustrated, and being penniless, happy and fulfilled, I’d chose happiness.

But I suppose people are rarely happy and fulfilled while being penniless. So indeed, balance is the goal.

This isn’t really anything new. We’ve all seen the desktop wallpapers, the bookmarks, the motivational posters, etc. But how many actually follow the advice? Who actually dares to live a life of non-conformity and passion rather than a life of safety and comfort zones?

Not many.

Maybe it just takes one more time. One more message. One more reminder to live your life on your own terms, and never give in to fear. That you can. That it’s possible, despite how scary that seems.

It’s good practice to discover and follow your dreams.

Never believe or act otherwise.

What’s your dream? What are you doing today that will take you closer to its fulfillment?

 

Bridges

 

And we’re back.

So we got Awareness, We got Faith or Confidence, We got our goal. We’re affirming and visualizing and taking action.

So where’s our stuff?

You know how a very popular metaphor for life is that it’s a journey? I think that is a very accurate metaphor.

When it comes to having a goal and setting out to achieve it, it’s very much like a journey from here to there. It’s easy to assume that with all the stuff I’ve been talking, this means a quicker if not instantaneous arrival at our destination.

But that’s not how a journey works. In order to get here from there, you have to actually travel there.

You may start on foot. But then on your way you find a faster mode of transportation, like a bicycle, a horse, a car or even a spaceship. These are opportunities. They can carry you on your way faster.

But while opportunities can take you to your goal faster, obstacles can slow you down.

But obstacles or setbacks shouldn’t be seen as negative.

I see them as Bridges. Some bridges are safe, tall and made out of stone (like going to college), and some are narrow and rickety and dangerous (like starting a risky business venture).

Some bridges you can see in the distance, like on a map of life, and you can choose from several options which to cross. But as you get on your way and reach the unmapped parts of life, new unexpected bridges turn up on the path. These can be extremely scary and challenging bridges.

Some bridges will have brick walls set right in the middle that you have to somehow climb over or blast your way through in order to continue.

Other bridges may break as you’re halfway across and plunge you into unknown and scary territory.

But I don’t see bridges (obstacles) as bad.

Think of Lord of the Rings. Would it have been any fun at all if the road to Mordor was a walk in a park? If Gandalf somehow knew a teleportation spell that took them directly to Mount Doom in a second? Would that had been a very good movie?

Would you really appreciate a goal if it just fell in your lap? If you just instantaneously teleported to the other side?

Bridges (or mountains or whatever metaphor speaks to you) are what make the Journey (Life) worth it. This is the fun stuff. The being alive part. This is where you live, where you use and enjoy your mind and body. Where you think and feel and act and appreciate.

This is where I used to get stuck. I make goals, affirm them and look at the bridges from afar.

I never dared to walk across them.

Not anymore.

What bridges do you need to cross to get to where you want to go? Are you avoiding them or boldly walking forward?

 

What The Job I Hated Has Taught Me…

A change of pace today, but still somewhat related.

I wanted to write this post months ago, but I was afraid of someone from work reading it and criticizing me. So instead, I waited until I quit and wasn’t working there anymore.

I guess the time has come.

***

My job was not at all glorious in any sense of the word. I worked in fast food and let me tell you something…

If you need a job, fast food will always have an opening…because working in fast food is hell on Earth. Everyone quits the moment they get the chance. Or at least the smart ones do.

The job demands that you work very hard for the absolute minimum the company is willing to pay you, with barely any recognition of your hard work, and be scolded for what you did wrong, even when whatever it is you did wrong was completely unavoidable because either what they asked you to do was impossible to begin with or you didn’t even know the proper way of doing it because no one taught you how, but somehow you were supposed to know anyways.

There’s no training in fast food. At least, not at my job.

You learn as you go. Kind of like life.

Usually when I do these posts, I make a list of all the things something has taught me. But this time, I only have one important thing my job has taught me.

Something that really opened my eyes.

When I first started working there, I didn’t like it very much. I was slow and made lots of embarrassing mistakes.

But the thing I hated the most was working the drive thru.

There are more or less three steps to working the drive thru.

Take the order, prepare the order, charge the customer, serve the order, repeat.

Now, on a good day, you have one person charging the customer and serving the order, and another taking and preparing the order.

But that’s during the day. At night, it’s usually just one person. Just one. Who has to take the order. Prepare the order. Charge the customer. And serve the order.

It wouldn’t even be that difficult if preparing the order didn’t involve traveling from one side of the kitchen to the other.

Oh and by the way, you’re timed.

I hated it. When I first started working, I dreaded the days when I was assigned the drive thru.

I  believed it was impossible. That what they wanted me to do was impossible for any human to do and the people who devised this were sadistic sons of bitches who enjoyed torturing desperate, broke people who’d do anything to pay their bills.

But the reason I hated it wasn’t because it was impossible, it was because I sucked at it.

I was horrible. And I hated being bad at anything. I was/am a perfectionist after all.

But time passed and even though I wanted to quit, I knew I couldn’t. Or at least I convinced myself I couldn’t.

So I stopped thinking how impossible the job was or how sadistic the bosses were, and actually tried to figure out how to do better.

It got easier.

The first time I did an entire night shift by myself without needing help felt great. Accomplished even.

I was making progress.

At the time when I quit, it was my favorite position. It was easy. It was to the point I sometimes enjoyed doing it by myself more than being helped (once I got a rhythm, other people just ruined my flow).

The lesson here?

No matter how hard or impossible learning a new skill seems to be, never quit. The initial discomfort and hate will pass and soon it’ll be effortless.

This applies to EVERYTHING.

I should have noticed this sooner. Years ago,  before the Air Force, I couldn’t run a single lap without stopping. It felt like dying. When I graduated boot camp, I could easily run a mile (the threat of repeating boot camp was a great motivator to stick with it).

I rarely noticed this in other parts of my life because since I wasn’t being paid and hadn’t signed a contract, I often quit before I got past the OMG I HATE THIS period, thinking it was a sign that this wasn’t for me.

I quit drawing. I quit the violin. I quit filmmaking (and I didn’t even try, the mere idea made me extremely uncomfortable).

I wonder what would have happened if I stuck with it even during that “I suck at this!” phase and kept going like I did with my job?

What will happen now as I stick with writing, get back to art, and try my hand at filmmaking regardless of my discomfort?

What would happen if we applied the same level of discipline and integrity to the things we feel we have no choice about to the the things we actually want to do?

Lets find out, shall we?

 

(Points to anyone who notice how my thoughts/thinking created my reality in my drive thru hell scenario. I highlighted some clues in case you missed it).

It’s Magic! (Not Really)

Today is my first day without my job. It’s weird, cause it shouldn’t be a big deal. But it is. Despite the fact it was less than 30 hours a week, I felt trapped. Now suddenly without it, I feel incredibly free to do absolutely whatever it is I really want to do. I know this is mostly psychological phenomenon. It’s all in my head. But I may as well use it regardless.

I want to talk about the reason The Law of Attraction gets such a bad rap.

The reason is rather obvious. It’s too good to be true, it’s magical thinking and magic doesn’t really exist, etc.

The documentary The Secret really made this easy the moment they showed a segment where you see an Asian kid (supposedly Aladdin) rubbing a lamp, which summons a large genie that appears in the sky, and having this genie say “Your wish is my command” and use this as a metaphor for The Law of Attraction.

 

 

While cool and entertaining, it’s a very poor metaphor.

If I were to create a better metaphor for the idea of the law of attraction and conscious living and “ask and you will receive” mentality and all of that, it’d be more like…

You are the genie.

Whoa, hooold on. That sounds even worse.

But wait. I’m not done.

You are the genie living in a world that you created with billion other genies, which you share this world with. Now I’m not talking about the trees and grass and the sky, and the actual physical world. But we did create the human experience we know today. We created the concept of money, of success, of marriage, and etc and the means to get these things.

I think a lot of people forget this. I know I forgot or rather didn’t realize this obvious fact when I was growing up.

Now what conscious living and the law of attraction and everything else means is that you can become in sync with this world that came from us.

You see people do this all the time. The successful ones, the happy people living their lives as they see fit. Sure they have setbacks and obstacles and not everything turns out exactly the way they wanted it to, but the general idea: wealth, security and joy they experience on a daily basis, regardless of the details, and they’re the ones who made it happen.

It’s not wishful thinking. But it’s not will power either.

It’s the combination and harmony of mind, body and environment..

These three things working together to create and attract the opportunities and basically the life you want. Everyone in the world is doing this right now, but for the most part unconsciously. The whole idea of conscious living is to live consciously, to see how you create your life and to actually create it in the way you want it to be rather than randomly.

Life doesn’t have to be completely random.

And it doesn’t have to be completely impossible to achieve this sort of harmonious living.

Actually the key is simple. The key is awareness.

But lets get back on topic.

The most important part is that it’s not magic and it’s not just writing affirmation in a journal and daydreaming about the success you wish to have as if you already have it.

Those are just tools to get your mind in the right place.

This is crucial, but it doesn’t work by itself. Nothing will happen if you actually don’t move your body and get out in the world and create.

We’re genies that grant our own wishes using our feet and hands and mouths.

This is very obvious. But then what stops us? The mind part. The supposedly magic part of The Secret. It’s the hardest part and probably the reason that movie focused so much on it. Because the body will refuse to do anything if the mind is against it.

But if you get the mind in the right place. And then the body to act….

It will be like magic.

The Truth Shouldn’t Be A Secret (and it isn’t).

 

 

Six years ago, lonely and depressed, I saw The Secret.

For those who don’t know, it was a documentary and book about the Law of Attraction, which basically means you create your daily experience in the world with your thoughts. It was rather popular…and notorious.

People either hated it with a passion or loved it with a passion. Both are exaggerations.

The Secret changed my life. I am very grateful for it.

But it’s full of flaws. The biggest one is that it lacks crucial information on actually effectively doing what the movie is saying you can do. I have a suspicion that the great majority who watched the movie and tried to use the information without actually reading further into the concept got very little results if any at all.

But the movie is great because it filled me with thoughts I never had before. Does this work? Is this true? Is this possible?

My biggest motivation was the fact it claimed I could be anything I wanted to be regardless of my situation, which fit perfectly with my childhood belief I mentioned yesterday.

So I went to work. I read books, I watched movies, I bought Holosync and began meditating every day.

Some things stuck, other things I dropped — Abraham Hicks’ books for one, I feel they focus way too much on visualization and not enough on action.

I learned a great deal and spent a whole lot of money.

I read Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch and for the first time in my life I had a definition for God I could actually believe in.

I thought I reached a plateau in my study (pfft!) until I listened to The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and was blown away again.

But there was a problem with all this stuff.

Despite the fact it’s all saying the exact same thing in just a different way, it’s hard for the mind to grasp. It’s very easy to over think it. They over complicate the truth, which should be a simple and obvious thing.

It’s explained either too scientifically (What The Bleep Do We Know?!), too spiritually (Conversations with God), or too shallowly (The Secret).

This is all fine if you like that sort of thing. I love all of the above. But I noticed there’s a lot of extra stuff that isn’t needed. A lot of stuff that just gets in the way to the point of it all — getting the most out of life.

So when you scrap off all the excess stuff, all the useless details and just get straight to the core truth that ALL of these points of views share, what do we get?

You’re about to find out.

I know this is originally a blog about writing and storytelling, and there will still be posts on that.

Think of this as a special 2 week event with perhaps the occasional extra unrelated post.

But first, I’m curious. To my extremely amazing readers out there, what experience do you have with this sort of thing? Are you skeptical, a believer or at least open to the idea?

In other words, do you actually want to hear me talk about this for two weeks straight or not?

I’ll leave you now with a full list of all the stuff I read/watched over the course of the last six years, which more or less, say the exact same thing down in this core. I apologize. This list is TINY compared to what’s out there.

The Secret
What The Bleep Do We Know?!
The Prospering Power of Love by Catherine Ponder
Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch
Communion with God by Neale Donald Walsch
The Success Principles by Jack Canfield
The Law of Attraction by Esther and Jerry Hicks
Ask and It Is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks
The 7 Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra
The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle
The Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman (I actually only saw the movie, but I’ll get around to the book).
Personal Power 2 by Tony Robbins (this is actually a 30 day audio success program which I highly recommend).
.

Leap of Faith

 

When I was little, my mother used to tell me I could be anything I wanted to be when I grew up. I took it deeply to heart.

Years later, I remember having an argument with her and while I don’t remember the specifics, I do remember me bringing up how she used to say that to me and her reply was, “I wish I never said that.”

It didn’t matter. It was too late. The idea that I could do anything I wanted was engrained in me. But her words of regret for saying those words also stayed with me. I had a lot of problems. I wanted to spend my entire life telling stories. I specifically wanted to be a filmmaker, but didn’t have the support or confidence to go to film school.

I stubbornly refused to become anything else, but at the same time…I doubted.

As the years went by, I began to settle. I decided to be a novelist. I went to school for communications with the idea of getting a job in the movie industry as something else and work my way up. But unfortunately, I had no interest in classes that had nothing to do with storytelling. I could pass them with flying colors if I cared enough to do the work, but I didn’t. It caused a whole lot of anxiety.

I held back. I was too afraid to truly go for it. I kept putting off my creative writing because I was terrified of being proven wrong: that I can’t do it, that I can’t be whatever I wanted. By putting it off, I spared myself that horrifying realization. It was a way to protect my ego, my identity.

Fast forward to today, five years of college later. I dropped out and been working part time in fast food for nearly 2 years.

In my attempt to protect my secret belief, my secret wish that I could be whatever I wanted, I ended up living a lie. I haven’t actually done what I truly wanted to do in years. What was going? How did I fail to notice I was ruining my own life? Because I didn’t want to notice. It was too painful. My fear became a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Not anymore.

Yesterday, I handed in my resignation letter. July 3rd I will no longer be working in a job I hate. I’ll be truly on my own for financial support for the first time in my life.

I’m going to do what I always wanted to do.

I’m going to write a book.

In three weeks, on July 3rd, I’m going to put it up for sale on this website.

What will it be about?

It’ll be nonfiction. Every post over the course of these three weeks—including today’s—will be a piece of that answer.

This book, despite not being a work of fiction, is another dream of mine. Something I wanted to do, but thought I had to wait till I was old and gray and retired before having the credentials to write such a book. But I think I’ll do it now and see what happens

It’s time to finally face my fears and answer my doubts.

Can I really be anything I wanted?

Can I really be a writer?

 

 

 

 

 

(Yes, you can. So go for it).

MOCKINGJAY : I Was Wrong

 

I just finished reading Mockingjay, the last book of The Hunger Games Trilogy.

I am truly and utterly embarrassed by my last post regarding the first book.

Catching Fire, Book 2, fixed everything I felt wrong with the first.

And Mockingjay brought me to my knees.

I wonder if I should just delete the post, but maybe it’s good to have a reminder you don’t know everything.

How do I write this post… How do I put into words what I’m feeling regarding Mockingjay?

I literally JUST finished reading it. So this intense, incredible, overwhelming feeling may just be temporary. A part of me really hopes it isn’t. I hope that I don’t one day look back on this post and also feel humiliated by it.

Right now, I feel like there was me before I read Mockingjay, and then me after I read Mockingjay.

Like this novel has changed me forever.

That’s kind of embarrassing by itself. I mean I’m sure there are other books just as powerful, more so, classical works, literary works, grown up books that are more suited for the position of “the book that changed my life forever.”

But while I’m feeling what I’m feeling, I’m just gonna share it with anyone who comes across this blog, this post because I can. Because I need to get this off my chest.

For one, I was arrogant…and very stupid. Or maybe not?

As I was reading Catching Fire, I spoke with a friend who wouldn’t read Hunger Games because he feels it’s rubbish. That there are better books out there on the subject that these books address and all sorts  of other judgments. I kept thinking about it, and I actually thought he had a point.

I actually started to think that yeah, this wasn’t quality writing. It was candy. And in a sense it sort of really was. It was junk food. Genre fiction, sometimes…well okay, often is junk food. Not really healthy for you, won’t make you smarter or whatever, but simply entertains and helps you escape from reality.

The Hunger Games Trilogy had this feeling. The romance, the angst, the drama, etc. There are scenes, images that tug at a reader’s heart, in this case, especially at a female reader’s heart and I felt the writer used those types of scenes a lot beyond realism. I had come to the conclusion that The Hunger Games was like Twilight for the tomgirls.

Twilight for those who despised Twilight.

And maybe, I wonder, if that’s what the writer had intended. Lure me into thinking it going to be like every other book I ever read then do something I couldn’t ever have foreseen, especially since I was expecting something else entirely.

I couldn’t stop reading. I was in total addict mode. Totally relapsed. Why?

Well, the fact almost every chapter ended with a jaw dropping cliffhanger really helped. But there was something else.

I couldn’t predict what was going to happen next. Even when I try to guess, I was always wrong.

Every single time. Wrong, wrong, WRONG.

I tried to fit the story into a formula I was used to. Into a plot pattern I thought I knew.

But each book is so different from the last. Katniss is so different, changes so much in each consecutive book.

Then Mockingjay.

Fucking Mockingjay.

It started to get dark. Really dark. Soon, I was starting to get scared. A part of me was terrified what would happen next. I never had that feeling before when reading. I was crying more than once. Beloved characters died. Ambitious yet noble missions failed. My hands started to literally shake near the end. I could barely turn the pages.

Remember when I talked about pushing it? I complained that The Hunger Games didn’t push it enough? Well, this book pushes it. It pushes it right off the page. The place it takes the stories…I was utterly unprepared for and overwhelmed.

At the end, I was bawling. If anyone heard me, they would have thought I was insane.

Every cliché, unrealistic, plot development I thought would take place never did.

I find myself comparing it to other stories.

For me personally, it was an ending not many people like. It was an ending that probably reflects real life more accurately.

I don’t even have words to explain what this book did…in my eyes anyways.

In most fantasy/sci-fi YA, you have heroes and heroines. They have destinies. They have goals and missions. They have enemies. Evil personified. And usually, almost always, the heroes rise up and kill the wizard or dictator or whatever the main antagonist is no matter how old the protagonist is.

And then they live happily ever after.

Not in Mockingjay.

No. Katniss is helpless. Because seventeen year olds can only do so much. Even when they’re turned into a symbol for a revolution. Even when she’s the protagonist and the plot revolves around her. Even when she tries so hard, sacrifices so much…still, she was still at the mercy of people with more power, more control.  Because she was just one person. One young and unfortunate person.

And that’s reality.

….I think I understand why I feel so strongly about this book.

It has to do with the death of my mother.

This is one of the few times I read something, especially in YA fantasy/scifi fiction, that captured grieving of a loved one perfectly.

Captured death’s reality.

When mom died, I felt like my life was over. But time keeps moving forward. And there’s a part of me that feels like this shouldn’t be. I have to continue, because I don’t have a choice. The sun keeps setting and rising. The earth keeps turning. Human life continues around me.

Mockingkay’s ending chapters captured this beautifully. So real, so utterly beautifully, to the point I feel like…it helped me.

Sure, I was convinced I accepted the fact life continued with or without me and I moved on, but I haven’t really. Not really. I just shut out the world. Let the world keep going around me, while I lived in my own little reality I was in complete control over.

But the ending of Mockingjay…showed me a different way. A better way.

There are other things about it that blew me away. It showed the reality of violence, the truth that a world where life is sacrificed for the better good is not a world worth living in, no matter the reason.

Again this is hard to explain and I’m realizing this post is already so long, so unclear and so unfocused. I’m not making much sense.

It’s better if you just read the books yourselves and hopefully you’ll understand better what I’m talking about.

I’ll just end this as quickly as possible now.

Before I said my passion rekindled.

Now I say my passion has become a bonfire.

There are books I read, movies I watched, where afterwards, I knew for sure this is what I wanted to do. I wanted to create something that had this impact on another person. A story that moved a person to the extent I was moved.

But Mockingjay is a whole new level of inspiration.

I never knew you could…explore such themes in YA fantasy/sci-fi before. Not like this. And now I’m certain without a single doubt in my mind that this is what I want to do.

I want to do what this book has done.

My stories aren’t going to be cliché, shallow, superficial candy that just entertains and allows a person to escape.

Well, okay I do want to entertain and transport people to fictional worlds otherwise they’ll never stay (probably the biggest reason why mainstream and genre fiction is more popular than literary fiction). But I want to do that and change them. I want them to break down in tears and help them heal.

To give hope. But real hope, not illusion. Not a happily ever after fantasy. Hope that can be carried with them into the real world. Even if it’s YA fantasy/sci-fi. Even if it’s in the least likely of genres.

If I haven’t permanently changed as a person because of Mockingjay, I know for one I definitely changed as a writer.

And that’s pretty much what I wanted to say.

~~~

I also want to say or rather beg that everyone boycott watching The Hunger Games movie.

I want it to fail. To fail horribly.

So they don’t even think of making a Mockingjay movie.

Cause they’ll do it all wrong, just as they did The Hunger Games all wrong (look at the trailer after reading the book and you know they did it all wrong).

Some books shouldn’t be made into movies.

This is one of them.

But I’m weak and I’ll watch it anyways….cause maybe, just maybe they did get at least SOMETHING right.

 

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