A long sufferer of depression and anxiety, I’ve learned the hard way that feeling good does not equal a fulfilling life. I learned this after I realized I can feel good regardless of my situation.
Feeling Good and my External Situation aren’t related at all.
I learned this by the fact that I felt really, REALLY good for a while and yet my life was still exactly the same…because I was still doing the same things. I figured that feeling good meant I would do things differently, that feeling bad was what was keeping me from all my goals.
Boy, was I wrong.
So what does keep a person from taking required action? I suppose it all comes down to habit. We do the things we do because we’ve been doing them for so long. Change is hard because change is uncomfortable and feeling good is all so important.
Add doubt regarding what IS the required action and you have a recipe for stagnation.
Three weeks ago, I turned 26.
Thanks to Holosync, someone who shall not be named and the fact I feel like I haven’t been living any sort of resemblance of a life for over a decade, I had sort of violent emotional relapse (Supernatural, Tumblr and sleeping/dreaming my drugs of choice). Thus resulting in my sudden absence from blogging (new posting schedule: when there’s a post, there’s a post) till now.
I’ve recovered mostly, but now am wondering what can I do to change things? What can I do to keep this from happening again when I turn 30?
Well, first what does it mean to have a life?
Here’s a list of some of my ideas. (Yay! A list!)
Keeping Up Appearances
This means physical appearances. When you’re as isolated as me, you don’t really think this is such a big deal. I don’t really expect to find the love of my life any time soon, so why bother to get all made up? Answer to Self: Because it makes you feel alive, idiot! Only corpses don’t need to care about how they look.
A hobby is something you do that requires work, but isn’t work. Something that is done just because and not because it feeds you. Something you do for the hell of it. I’ve done the mistake of making my hobbies into my career (or at least trying to), unless you count watching TV, YouTube and Tumblr as hobbies , I’ve lost mine. A fulfilled life is one full of an assortment of interests.
Okay. Here I am AGAIN. Admitting I was wrong. Happy loner? Eh, not so much. I’m used to being alone. It feels safe. Familiar. Comfortable. But whoever commented that being alone can lead to insanity had a point. I’m going crazy in my little house, with my little computer, all by my little lonesome. Time to branch out. A fulfilling life has daily interaction with real, living, people sharing the same air you breathe in the same physical space (a.k.a not online).
This is kind of a given. There’s a reason social media has become a global obsession. Sharing creates a sense of community and connection with others. I’m going to push it a little further and say it validates our existence. When you share something you learned, found or created and are acknowledged for it, your existence is also being acknowledged. I never really realized just how much I needed my existence to be validated by another person until now.
I can probably add more to the list. A routine, a job that contributes to the greater whole, a physical activity, etc. But I’ll leave the rest to you, readers, if for some strange, bizarre reason anyone is still reading this blog.
What do you think contributes to a healthy, happy life?
(In other news, Yes I’m still working on the novel. First chapter is due soon.)