Being Honest with Yourself

stone honesty letters


Yeah. Did I say I was going to update every day?

Yeah. My bad.

More like every day except for weekends…apparently.


If there’s something I’m learning is that there’s one thing that I – and I can’t be the only one – have a problem with. And that is being honest with myself.

I don’t just mean honestly about your own skill level (“I’m so a Pulitzer prize worthy writer!” “God, I’m worse than a monkey with a banana and a bottle of ink.”), or what you are capable of.

It’s being honest with what you’re actually going to do.

It’s one thing for me to say: “I’m going to post in my blog every day! No Three times a day!” And I may be capable of doing that. I may even have the time. But will I?

Sometimes, I fall into the trap of making glorious goals, everything my little heart dreams of accomplishing, and then crossing my fingers that I will actually do those things, despite never doing them before. It’s not all about mental focus or how much I can focus on it. In the end, my habits and what comes natural to me comes into play too.

I make too many goals that I never achieve simply because I work against myself. I follow what I SHOULD do, instead of what I’m more likely to do.

If I go to bed at 1am in the morning, why on earth do I make a goal to wake up at 4am to write? It’s just not going to happen, no matter how much I want to do it.

I’m unconsciously setting myself up for failure and then I feel bad when I wake up at 7am, despite that being a rather logical time to wake up and very easy to be productive despite the failure of the original plan.

So what am I trying to say?

Be honest with yourself.

What’s easier for me?

What will I most likely do?

Where’s the middle ground of what I am willing to change now and where I want to be eventually?

Don’t stick with goals that aren’t working for you just because you think you should will-power your way through them. If it’s not working, then change the approach and don’t wait a year or two before you decide it’s not working.

I have a bad habit of doing that. I keep thinking, one more time. I’ll do it next time. I can totally make this work. That’s what happened with me and college. In the end, I just increased my school loan debt a semester’s worth with nothing to show for it because I wanted to make something work that wasn’t working no matter what I did.

It’s when stubbornness becomes a weakness.

It’s also where flexibility becomes very important.

So I missed two days. Okay, then I shall see what my natural blog posting rhythm is. Right now I shall aim for 5 days (and never going less than 3 days). I won’t make it official (again) until I’m honestly sure what I want to do and will do.

Other goals have changed, such as TAD. It seems I just can’t afford it at the moment. But just because the goal I made isn’t working at the moment, I can be flexible enough to change it until it does work.

Such as, waiting for when I can afford it and make it a goal to be able to afford it by next year.

See? I’m learning already.

I think goals should be fun. Goals that give you focus and motivation whenever you picture it completed and you know exactly what it is you want to do to get closer to it (note, I said want, not HAVE to do. That one word causes all sorts of psychological problems).

Just make it fun and never give up.

The goal itself may change, but never the vision. I think if you stick with the vision, and be honest with yourself on how YOU personally will achieve that vision, the journey becomes a whole lot easier and joyful.


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