I love how even though I may be failing my goals, procrastinating like crazy, and just not getting anything done, I can watch myself and still learn lessons from my mistakes even as I make them.
For example, I realized that, for me, having faith in myself is crucial. If I don’t think that eventually I will make it, that my writing and stories are worth it, then I won’t write. Or it’s like pulling teeth and I stop early to plunge myself into the pit of despair that is my bed.
Faith has a lot to do with real life as well. Faith has gotten me through the dark times after my mother died. And it was a stupid faith, really. A tiny little belief that no matter how bad it is, I can change it. I can still make my amazing dreams come true no matter what.
When I say faith, I don’t mean religion. Though, I guess it is a bit spiritual.
It’s like magic almost. By believing, even if I have no evidence to support it, that I am something, can do something, will be and have something, and it’s only a matter of time before that happens, everything becomes much easier.
It’s easier to breathe. It’s easier to get up in the morning. It’s easier to smile.
Often, that feeling is good enough. I don’t even need for it to actually happen, the feeling is enough. But I will get up and take actions to make it happen, strengthening my faith. If I don’t, my faith wavers and inactivity and unhappiness ensues.
I think that’s key. I have to take action without every REALLY knowing if I’m going to make it or if my dreams are going to come true. Focusing on the current moment where I am actually taking action and making things happen does something wonderful.
It takes away the worry, the stress, and desire to procrastinate.
I feel like my dream has already come true, and that’s the most important thing.
I encourage everyone to seek that state, that feeling that it’s already happened. I am a writer (or whatever it is you want to be). I am living the life I have always dreamed of. And do the things you would do if as if you really were living that life.
True, there are somethings you can’t change right away. I know I would LOVE to leave my current job and move to the USA right now. I mean, if it’s my dream life, that would be two of the things that would happen. Of course, at the moment, my faith isn’t strong enough to believe that I can actually do that without starving to death.
So instead, I will focus on what I CAN do. If I were the person I’ve always craved to be, what would she do first thing in the morning? What would she eat? What would she write? What would her day look like? How would she treat herself and others?
I may not be able to control certain things, but I can control my behavior, attitude and state of mind. And if I can control these things, then I control my life.
It starts with having faith in myself.