I may have to give up roleplaying and I suppose blogging as well, though it wasn’t like I was blogging much anyways.
A while ago, I read a blog post (I don’t remember which unfortunately) about, I believe, how inside of true writers we have a writing quota of a sort. There’s an amount of words that we NEED to put down. If we don’t, it’s like hunger. We start suffering. (These are my own words, by the way, on how I understand it).
But the problem is, what we write to fill in this quota doesn’t necessarily have to be the story or novel you’ve been procrastinating on for months. There’s still that immense fear of failure since that writing matters more. Instead, we fill in our quota with easier writing such as blogging or message board posting, or (in my case) roleplaying. Thus, after all this – what I like to call – easy writing, we are full and no longer need to write anymore.
Once the need to write is gone, the chance of making yourself write becomes less.
I proved this (for myself at least) this week when my roleplaying partner went on a short vacation and thus I haven’t roleplayed or even talked about roleplaying in a while, my main source for my inner writing quota.
I was still procrastinating on my stories and novel, but as days went by I became more frustrated. Then today, without warning, I just started to write. Out of nowhere and without any resistance.
But as you can see, instead of working on the story that has been sitting on the side for more than a week, I’ve unconsciously leaned towards blogging instead, which is easier for me. (Humans do seem to always go with what is easiest for them.)
So now I wonder…if I starved myself by not allowing myself to write ANYTHING but fiction and nonfiction I mean to sell, I wonder what would happen…